Dreams That Fall Apart
by LukesDragon
Summary: Davis is in love with Matt, Matt thinks he is in love with Sora. Sora is in love with Mimi and Tai still loves Matt. Confused? you will be
1. Haunted Dreams and Lonely Hearts

****

"Dreams That Fall Apart" by Luke's Dragon

Disclaimer

Its not mine and if you don't know that by now then you probably never will

****

A/N

Although Matt and Davis are probably my two favorite characters from Digimon I've never written a Yamasuke At least until now anyway. Although saying that it doesn't start out as Yamasuke in the first chapter but don't worry it will be later.

Things you should be aware of this fic will (eventually) contain Yamasuke that is a homosexual pairing between Matt and Davis. There's also bits of Daikeru (Davis and TK) and Mira (Sora and Mimi) and Taito (They do sleep around a lot don't they?) so if homosexual stuff in fics upsets/worries/offends you don't read it, or if you do don't complain you weren't warned. It starts off with Matt and Sora (Sorato) together as well so if you have anything against that be warned, although if you've read all of this part you'll know they're not going to be a couple for all of the fic. Anyway there's nothing too hardcore in this fic, sorry but I'm just no good at writing sex scenes.

Ages are Matt, Tai and Sora 21, Mimi 20, Davis, TK and Kari 18, work anyone else out from there.

The song that Matt talks about is "Heaven" by Bonnie Tyler

Chapter I – Haunted Dreams and Lonely Friends

~~~ Motomiya Apartment 04:30~~~

Daisuke sat bolt up right in bed awoken from sleep by another nightmare. They had been coming more and more lately. It always seemed to be the same thing, there were sometimes changes of scene, or scenario but always the same person and always the same ending, him waking up distraught. He was starting to dread going to sleep because he knew that as soon as he closed his eyes it would start again and then he would wake up with a scream and covered in sweat. Strange really since for the most part the dreams were pleasant experiences and if nothing else it was as close as he seemed to get to his crush lately. 

The crush, the big secret the thing that no matter what else happened was always on his mind. The thing that tore him up inside the thing that made him write depressing poetry and listen to dark rock music, the thing that woke him up screaming every night. His best friend's brother, the boyfriend of one of his closest friends, the second bearer of the crest of friendship. Yamato Ishida. 

Well how could he not be so besotted with him? Everything about him was so perfect, his hair, his stunning looks, that beautiful singing voice that Davis wished was singing all those songs to him. He'd lost count of the amount of times he had been to one of Matt's concerts wishing so much that it could be him Matt was with after the show not her. Ridiculous really, the amount of times Matt had complained to Davis that his sister was stalking him and he was doing the self same thing, only so many more times worse, at least his sister was the right gender for Matt. Davis hated it, knowing that there was no way that he would ever have a chance with the one person he wanted more than anything. Even trying would probably get him beaten up and end up with him loosing several friends. Maybe that wasn't even true anymore he didn't get on with the others as well as he used to do, they all seemed to have a special someone who they would rather be with than him. Fair enough really, after all who would rather spend time with a loser like him than their lover? Certainly not Matt, he couldn't remember the last time they had a proper conversation although he imagined it would have been about Jun. Considering how much Matt meant to him Davis hardly ever made the effort to talk to him either, although he told himself it was because he would probably tell him everything. That would probably be the quickest way to ruin his life forever. Matt couldn't know that he was in love with him. Hell Matt couldn't even know Davis was gay, it was a secret he had kept to himself for all of his life. He had known defiantly ever since he was a teenager, although all the memories of his adventures before hand seemed to focus on guys, and there were all the little details that just seemed to add up to the fact that he was, well whatever name people wanted to give him it didn't matter.

Reaching over to his alarm clock Davis noticed that it was 04:28 so it was still too early to get up, anyway he was tired, probably lack of sleep. But still he did not want to go back to sleep he was still haunted by the last barrage of dreams and had no desire to go through that again tonight. The dream always featured him and Matt as a couple, happy and accepted by all their friends. It was an ideal world where the two of them were happy. But happiness wouldn't last too long sooner rather than later something would happen. The most common ending by far though was Matt leaving him in the rain, always in the rain for some reason. Then he would just stand there as the skies poured down on him, totally alone without any hope of ever finding anyone as wonderful as Matt. Sometimes Davis thought seriously about just leaving, maybe packing his bags and leaving his home and everything about his childhood behind, making a new start somewhere else, somewhere he could be himself. Other times in his darkest moments he thought about leaving it all behind, a knife, a bottle of pills and then no more pain. He'd never found the courage but it just seemed like it would be so much better than the god forsaken world he endured every day where he was just alone regardless. A world where awful things happened to good people, where people left you when you needed them the most, where no-one seemed to care about him or understand. And worst of all a world where his beloved Matt was straight and happy with his childhood sweetheart.

~~~Takenouchi Apartment 04:35~~~

Davis was wrong on several counts, despite the fact that it was still the dead of night Matt was still up. His girlfriend Sora had taken him against his will to one of Tokyo's premier nightclubs. It was one of many parts of the relationship he did not like. Matt liked music; he was in a band and went to lots of bars and clubs either playing gigs, scouting out other bands or just with friends. The important fact was music should have words and preferably guitars, he was not keen on dance music. Especially in view of the fact that he was pretty sure that the same song had been playing for the entire night, although it seemed incredibly unlikely that anyone would be sick enough to make one of the 'club anthems' last six hours. Despite this he had gone with Sora and tried his best to look as though he was having a good time. Jut like his time in the Digital World he put on a mask and pretended everything was fine. It wasn't fine of course, the clash of personalities was a major factor but more and more he was convinced that there was someone else. Not that Sora was cheating on him; it was something different, like she was in love with someone else who she couldn't have so she was with him as a second choice. Although he couldn't really say anything about that, Sora wasn't his first choice either, but that had all been a long time ago and it was done, dusted and dead. He had promised himself that he would make Sora happy and for the three years they had been together he had thought that they were both happy, but lately…Hah! It reminded him of a song he'd heard a long time ago it was something by his mother's favorite singer, something he hadn't heard since he and Taichi had been…friends.

//In the middle of a sleepless night, got a feeling and it just ain't right these feelings just grow in my mind. 

Something's missing in the way we kiss, never had so many nights like this, feels like a dream but it's true. 

Oh I know I don't take you to heaven anymore, I can tell by the way you touch me it's nothing like before, I know I don't take you to heaven anymore. I can tell by the way that you make love to me it's nothing like before

In the middle of a lonely day though you're with me you're so far away, we used to be close, real close.

Baby can't you see the danger signs a love like ours is hard to find, something's gone wrong can't you see?

I know I don't take you to heaven anymore, I can tell by the way you touch me it's nothing like before 

I know I don't take you to heaven anymore. I can tell by the way you make love to me it's nothing like before. //

What scared him the most though was the fact that they made love on a regular basis, although not so much lately but if they were to have a child…Matt couldn't bear to think of himself turning out just like his parents. In the kitchen he could hear Sora on the telephone she had gone to make coffee half an hour ago, he hadn't heard the phone ring so she must have rung someone herself. Knowing he shouldn't really be doing this Matt snuck up to the closed door to the kitchen and tried to hear what she was saying. All he could catch was the end of the conversation but it seemed to fit with what he thought was going on.

"There's no point anyway, it'd never work. I'll speak to you later"

Matt dashed back to the couch before Sora came in, minus any trace of coffee, but he decided to let it pass without comment. Anyway it looked as if Sora had something to tell him.

"I've decided to go away for a few days"

"Oh"

"Just to stay with friends, nothing major"

"I haven't done anything wrong have I?"

"No, of course not darling, I just fancied going to visit some friends for a while"

She hugged him tight, but neither calling him 'darling' or her kisses reassured Matt in the slightest. Something between them seemed to have left, the passion and fire that had once been was gone, maybe it had never been there to being with, he had just wanted so much to find a girl he could love that he had imagined all the feelings he though he had once felt. No, that couldn't be true all this time he had spent with her couldn't be a lie he loved her. But it didn't seem to work the more times he told himself he was in love or the more times Sora said there was nothing wrong, the less he believed it.


	2. Just Like Anyone

****

"Dreams That Fall Apart" by Luke's Dragon

Disclaimer

Huge surprise I'm sure but since writing the last chapter I haven't managed to gain ownership of Digimon, so I'd better let you know it isn't mine. I used to own a Mazda 323 like Matt drives complete with broken clock and radio too, but it had to be scrapped when the engine and other vital bits broke too. L 

****

A/N

Apologies for a few errors in chapter I which I've corrected, after kicking my beta reader a few times.

Chapter II- Just Like Anyone

~~~ Motomiya Apartment, 01:15 ~~~

It was late when Davis returned home, feeling more confused than he had done in quite a while, and with everything he was feeling lately that was one hell of an achievement.

The reason was, of course Matt. That seemed to be the reason for everything he was feeling nowadays. Matt and his band had been playing a gig at a local bar and Davis, along with most of the other Digi-Destined had been along just like always for support. Davis remembered back when the band had first started and the entire audience had been TK, Tai, Sora and himself. Oh and Jun and her lunatic friends but everyone tried to ignore them. Tonight there had been more people than Davis could count, although both Tai and Sora were noticeable by their absence. Tai, it was less of a surprise about, Tai and Matt had a major bust up about four years ago and never made it up, Davis had never found out quite what had gone on or why two inseparable friends had fallen out so badly. Tai had gone travelling earlier in the year, he still kept in touch with Davis through the occasion postcard from far-flung places, and according to Kari he was having a great time. Davis wished that he too could up and leave, perhaps it would help him sort his head out.

It was far more unusual for Sora to miss one of Matt's gigs though, in fact Davis couldn't remember the last time she had not been there, certainly whilst they were an item she had been there without fail. Davis noticed these things. It had been obvious for someone as skilled at watching Matt, as Davis was that there was something on the blonde haired singer's mind that had been bothering him all night. Davis hadn't wanted to pry since Matt's usual way of dealing with situations was to lash out at the nearest target and incurring Matt's wrath was the last thing Davis wanted. Therefore Davis had been shocked when after the gig finished and they were all hanging out backstage Matt took Davis to one side and brought the issue up himself. Davis could still remember quite clearly what Matt had said to him, apparently he was concerned that Sora had found someone else. Davis feigned concern, but inside he was doing jumps for joy, even more so when Matt finished off by saying that if she had then he was happy for her since he thought there might be someone else who he was better suited to. Even so it was hard to take knowing that Matt didn't feel anything for him, or any guy for that matter, being so close to him but not being able to do anything about it. Having to fight the urge to grab him tight and tell him everything that he was feeling and then, well he'd quite like to rip all his clothes off and then…

Alright thinking logically about things one conversation where Matt said he was worried about his relationship with Sora did not mean that Matt was going to go running straight into Davis' arms, or that there was any chance that he would want Davis at all. But there was no harm thinking about it. In fact thinking about it was quite nice; hell it was really nice. Davis' mind started to wander on to the pleasant idea that Matt wanted him as he drifted off to sleep with the image of Matt planted firmly in his dreams once again.

~~~ Matt Ishida's Mazda 02:0# (According to the clock on the dashboard) ~~~

Matt wished that he had gotten around to getting his car stereo fixed, traveling in silence might be alright for some people when they needed to think, but he had always liked to sooth his pains with music, still always had his old harmonica in the glove box. He liked to keep it there for relieving stress when he was stuck in traffic queues. Tonight he had driven up the old summer camp where everything had started almost ten years ago. As he pulled into the car park he noticed that the place was deserted, there were no kids here anymore to have adventures, to form friendships, to start growing up. It looked as though it had been abandoned for quite a while, but even so the sense of nostalgia was almost tangible, perhaps more so since there was nothing here apart from him and all his memories. Tucking his harmonica into his jeans pocket Matt walked away from the car park, towards the old cabins, hoping that no passing joy riders would steal his wheels.

Strange how everything was so much smaller than he remembered it being, but then again he had grown in so many ways since he was here last. Was that really true though? Had he changed that much since that day he had been sucked into a strange world filled with things trying to kill him? Had anything really changed since that day he talked with Cherrymon and challenged Tai, or was he the same old person he had always been? Things had been so much easier back then, he had known who he was, and what he wanted out of life. He had wanted to always be there for TK, always be there for all his friends, and to get married have kids, and make a far better job of it than his father had made with him. 

So much for that idea, his brother was all grown up now and didn't need him. He had Kari who could be there for him now, and she seemed to make a much better job of it than Matt managed, no matter what he tried he always seemed to end up letting TK down. There were so many times he had promised to spend time with TK and then 'something had came up'. TK hadn't seemed to mind but he still felt bad that his brother was growing up and he seemed to be missing it. That was one of the reasons he enjoyed playing gigs so much, it was as much as anything a good chance to see everyone and spend some time with his brother. TK wrote songs for the band sometimes, Matt was always impressed by his brothers songs, the way he could come up with lyrics was truly impressive, given TK's lack of any musical talents with instruments, his only gripe was they all tended to be love songs. Still Matt wouldn't be surprised if TK grew up to become a writer of some sorts.

The other wish, to be a better father than his own didn't look like it would happen soon, the only girl he had ever cared about was gone. He knew she had said that she was only going to visit friends, but he knew it was over. It had been over for quite a while now and it had been so strange watching what had once been so good slowly dying over a matter of months, watching as a passionate love turned into a monotonous routine. The strangest thing was that he didn't really mind, maybe once he would have given Sora forever, now he was happy to be free. Maybe he too could find someone else.

As he settled down to play a mournful dirge on his harmonica he couldn't help but thinking of friendship and more importantly the one friend who was no longer here for him, the person he once cared about more than anything, the person he had driven away, the person he had once called his best friend. Tai.

~~~ New York International Airport 15:45 Local Time ~~~

Until today Sora Takenouchi had never been on an airplane, she had heard people saying how great air travel was but never had the experience for herself, she had imaged it would be as fun and as free as flying on Birdramon. She had not expected three-hour delays, airsickness, not enough room to move her legs and a meal, which could very well have been cardboard, mixed with rubber. Still it was probably going to be worth all the hassle and discomfort of today so that she could get to tonight. Sora had flown half way around the world for love. Fitting perhaps for the bearer of the crest of love to go on a quest for love, but even so she felt guilty about Matt. It wasn't that she hated him, but she didn't love him and she knew neither of them could be happy living a lie. It would be nice though if Matt understood why she was doing this, he was one of her closet friends after all and she hoped that he would still feel the same way about her after all this came out, she was going to need as many friends as she could find. Falling in love with your best friend was usually a good thing, but she thought maybe people would not be so happy in this case. Still Matt had always told her to fight for what she believed in, so she had taken a huge risk and told her friend what she felt, ran up a huge phone bill calling America and then taken the leap, bought a ticket and flown half way around the word to a country where she couldn't understand a word that was being said, in order to be with the one person she had always loved, Mimi Tachikawa. When Mimi's family had moved to America she had given up what she hoped was just a phase of fancying her best friend like crazy. Maybe that's why she had found comfort in Matt's arms, she didn't like to think that she had been using him all this time, or that everything she had felt for him had untrue. That wasn't the case at all, she cared about him deeply but what they had could never be 'true love' and that was what they both wanted. After undergoing all the formalities of the airport Sora found herself in the arrivals hall, looking around at all the faces she felt a slight sense of panic, briefly wondering if she was doing the right thing, what if she had horrifically misread the situation and Mimi didn't feel the same way as she did, what if she…

All her fears were banished when she saw a sign, in pink writing, covered in glitter that said simply 'Sora Takenouchi'. A girl with pink hair and quite simply the most amazing smile that Sora had ever seen was holding up the sign. Sora grinned like as if she was a little girl again as she ran over to her friend and hugged her tightly, knowing now that she had made the right choice. As they walked towards Mimi's car waiting to take them back to her apartment, Sora just hoped that Matt could make the right decision too.


	3. Forsaken Hearts

****

Dreams That Fall Apart By Luke's Dragon

  
A/N

It's been a while since I wrote a new chapter for this Fic, it's not like I've abandoned it or anything I'm just not in the mood to write romance or angst at the moment. Anyway although this fic is (one day!) going to be a Yamasuke this chapter has a distinctly Taito and Takesuke theme to it. Also I know I suck at writing sex scenes, I guess it's something you never get taught so I've got to learn from experience.

Disclaimer

…Look I've said it so many times and everyone knows the score buy now, surely it's pointless to tell everyone I don't own it.

****

Chapter III- Forsaken Hearts

~~~ An Abandoned Summer Camp 12km outside Tokyo. 20:#$~~~

Wishing he knew someone who could fix his clock, Matt Ishida pulled into the car park for the second time in as many weeks of the summer camp where everything had started. It was kind of strange to think that he hadn't been here for so long, but then again what would the point have been? He hadn't needed to revive his childhood memories and dreams; he had been living them. Sad how soon friendships he'd thought would last forever just faded into the air. He knew now Sora wasn't coming back, she had called him that evening and explained the whole sorry situation to him. He knew he should feel angry, sad, rejected but it just didn't come. If anything he felt a sense of freedom that he thought had deserted him. He felt pleased too, pleased that Sora had found someone who she could love, maybe once he wanted the two of them to live 'happily ever after' but even before she left he'd known that was never going to happen. Now though it was all over and he had come running back to the beginning, like some lab rat trapped in a maze or something. Trapped in his memories and promises, trapped in a prison of his own making that he couldn't escape from even if he had wanted to. Trapped in a memory of forsaken lovers and broken hearts, trapped by the face he saw whenever he closed his eyes. Imprisoned in a memory by the name that seemed to be whispered on the warm summer winds that blew all around him, the name of a soul he wished sometimes that he'd never met and then a moment later wished he could still be right besides. _Taichi_

~~~ Takaishi Apartment 20:20 ~~~

TK was feeling a little put out as he settled down for an evening of Playstation gaming, ever since Kari had got a new job and been out all night, every night he was starting to get a little lonely. He couldn't complain though, the two of them needed the money if they were ever going to move out of their parent's places and get an apartment together. Still he was quite relieved when he heard a knock on the door, the stupid level seemed to cheat anyway.

TK was taken aback when he opened the door to see Davis standing there. He hadn't seen much of Davis lately and wondered if maybe he had upset him or something. Whatever, he was still pleased to have any sort of company, although by the look in his friends eyes Davis seemed a bit too preoccupied to want to do anything that was much fun.

TK invited Davis in and fixed them both a drink despite the fact he could tell that the goggle boy wanted to talk about something he was making no effort to start any sort of conversation. TK had tried in vain to start small talk but after being greeted by a few one word answers or monosyllabic grunting sounds he started to give up any hope of a civil conversation unless he took action.

"You know Dai most people don't just visit to sit in silence"

"Sorry"

"Or get one word responses"

"Sorry"

"Look Dai, I know you well enough to know something's not right"

"No, you don't know me at all"

"I know you don't like to admit when you like someone, that's it isn't it?"

"Maybe"

"…Look Dai, me and Kari are really happy, after everything she's been through what with Tai and everything she doesn't need…"

"Woh! You think I'm still after Kari!"

"That's not it?"

"No, I wish it was, it'd be so much easier if it was a girl…I…I mean Kari"

"What did you say…You mean it's not a girl?"  
"…"

"Does anyone else know?"  
"Know what?"

"That you're gay?"

"…No, so don't tell anyone"

"Come off it, you know me better than that"

"Yeah"

"So who's the lucky guy?"  
"I don't wanna say"

"…Oh"

"…" The conversation appeared to reaching another dead end, TK was fairly sure he was either meant to scream in terror or hug Davis and tell him he'd always be there for him but somehow that didn't seem right. He was fairly sure he knew who Davis' crush was but it didn't seem right to say anything else. The silence was still there and it was annoying him, especially since there seemed to be so much left unsaid between them.

"There's more isn't there Dai?"  
"…No…well yes…I don't want to say"

"Dai come on tell me"

"You won't like it…I'd like to kiss you…er…please"

"What?"  
"Told you that you wouldn't like it"

"No it's not that, I want to…no I don't want to. What am I saying?"  
"TK I shouldn't have said anything"

"I…I love Kari"

"I know"

"Then why am I going to do this?" TK turned to face Davis and before either of them knew what they were doing they had locked lips and very exploring each other's throats. TK couldn't help thinking that this was so wrong, he loved Kari and wanted to stay with her forever, ever since high school she had never looked at anyone else. Now here he was with his shirt being taken off and his best friend running his hands up and down his chest. Actually thinking about it Davis wasn't really his best friend, they hadn't spoken or been particularly close to him and now this guy who used to annoy him, who used to be his rival for Kari was slowly moving his hands into his trousers and undoing the zipper.

Strange, TK thought how at the oddest of times, like right now as they both stood naked staring into each other's eyes. He wondered if Matt had ever felt this confused that time with him and Tai, whether he too had asked himself what the hell he was doing about to 'make love' if that was the right term with a goggle boy who used to annoy the hell out of him. Heh, maybe it was a family trait. He'd always thought that his first time would be with Kari. Hell they'd even promised each other that their first time would be together. They'd always pictured an evening from a dream, magical. romantic, passionate. Not this, not some one-night fling with someone he didn't give a damn about, and who didn't give a damn about him either. Although he could have sworn maybe they both felt differently as Davis let out an involuntary gasp of pleasure and pain as TK broke his promise to Kari.

~~~ Ishida Apartment, 4 years ago ~~~

Matt Ishida ran the comb through his hair again; he'd checked his hair gel, added extra hold mousse and found out his hottest outfit. He noticed with a glance in the mirror that it was very black, black trousers, black shirt, even black underpants, of course if things turned out the way he planned all of it would end up in a crumpled heap on the bedroom floor. It seemed a little crazy that he was getting so worried about tonight it wasn't as if it was anything new. After all he and Tai had been together, sort of, on and off ever since they were at high school. It had never been a storybook romance like Matt would have wanted, they had to be so careful not to let anyone else know and they seemed to split up every week, but somehow it was enough. Although maybe after tonight everything would change, they were both older now, older wiser and more mature. He shook his head; Tai was never going to be mature no matter what happened. Tai was always going to be the same reckless hot head that he had been when they had first met, but that was okay too, or at least that was they way things were so he might as well put up with it. Maybe he was being too romantic about it, maybe he was starting to believe all those soppy lyrics he sung, that if they gave each other their word and made a promise that it was going to last forever that it would. Stupid really that sex would change anything between them, that they would be stronger because of it, that maybe it would mean something…and yet.

And yet here he was, trembling like a coward, waiting for Tai to show up like some heroine waiting for her dream date on prom night. Grinning to no one in particular it struck him how everyone always took him to be the feminine one in the relationship. He usually just laughed it of, saying it was just because he was so much prettier than Tai, which tended to make Tai sulk, but it was just the way it was. He didn't mind one way or the other, but Tai did, maybe it was stupid to just play along, act weak and submissive just for Tai but he didn't mind, although he knew it was going to be him who woke up sore tomorrow morning. Perhaps one day he'd find someone who wanted him to take charge, but that would mean leaving Tai and that was something he didn't want to do. Something he couldn't imagine happening, true it wasn't perfect and it wasn't the way either of them would have planned it but it was how it was. He was startled to here a knock on the door, opening it he looked straight into the eyes of his lover.

"You look wonderful" Tai whispered as he walked in, shrugging his coat to the floor, not caring where it landed. Matt smiled, maybe it wasn't ever going to be perfect but maybe it was good enough.

Matt snapped out of the memory with a tear in his eye, Tai was gone, out of his life forever, just like Sora. Still he felt much worse about Tai than his most recent lover; all his dreams of a happy ending had vanished the day Tai had walked out of his life. Perhaps it was more than coincidence that he seemed to have lost all his courage that day, then all his friendships had slowly disintegrated, without Tai he hadn't felt the need to bother with other people. Then when he and Sora had begun their fated relationship he thought just for a little while that he had found his love. Of course it was not to be, he didn't want Sora, he didn't want anyone except for Tai, his beloved goggle boy. 

As he fired up his ignition he was suddenly struck by a thought, maybe Tai was gone but there was still another goggle head, someone who mimicked Tai so much it struck at him sometimes, one of the few friends he had left. _Yes_ he thought as he drove away. _There's still a few miracles left._

~~~ Takaishi Apartment 09:40 ~~~

Davis woke up totally alone, although there was an impression in the bed where a body had been laying it was cold, as if it had been abandoned for quite a few hours. He was suddenly gripped by a sense of panic, last night he had spilled his soul to TK and more than that he had given himself, his very first time. Now he was here all alone, still covered in the sweat and all the rest of it from last night, and TK had abandoned him. It didn't seem fair, he was on the verge of tears when he spotted a note, hastily written in TK's semi-illegible scrawl on a piece of note paper placed on the pillow. Looking at it for a moment Davis' heart dropped, either TK was a hell of a lot smarter than he had been given credit for or he'd made a lucky guess, but somehow he knew. As he got dressed Davis kept seeing the words TK had written flashing across his mind, like some advertising slogan he couldn't get out of his head.

__

Dai-Chan

I know I can never be the one you want, I knew that last night before, well you know.

Just go tell Matt how you feel, I'm sure it'll all work out for you

TK

P.S. Thank you for last night. 

Davis just hoped that TK and Matt were as close as everyone thought they were. He hoped that he wasn't about to make the second biggest mistake of his life.


	4. When Dreams Come True

****

"Dreams That Fall Apart" By Luke's Dragon

Disclaimer

Not mine, not now, not ever.

A/N

Huh, I had abandoned this fic since it only had two reviews, but I've gotten a few more (thanx) so I'll press on with chapter 4.

****

Chapter IV - Dreams Come True

~~~ Golden Dragon Bar 8:45 ~~~

Davis glanced over at the clock hanging behind the bar, Matt had been supposed to meet him here quarter of an hour ago, but there was still no sign of him. Davis wasn't sure why he had suggested meeting here, a bar usually used only for meeting people before going somewhere more lively. Tonight certainly wasn't lively though, the entire population of the bar consisted of the two staff who appeared to be half asleep and a few old men in the corner who appeared to be engrossed in some sort of game. Still at least if Matt did deiced to murder him there were a few witnesses, true half the witnesses needed glasses to see themselves and the other two certainly weren't getting paid enough to care, but it might make Matt think twice.

Davis was thinking twice, thrice and any other amount of rethinks, this was looking like a worse plan every moment the whole telling Matt how he felt part was bad enough, and the waiting was compounding matters making every minute feel like a lifetime. There was also the minor issue of Davis and TK 'getting it on' the night before but that was something that Davis thought Matt certainly didn't need to know about.

Maybe he wouldn't even bother showing up, it wasn't as if he had sold the idea as such.

'umm do you wanna ya know go for a drink' wasn't really the way you should ask someone to come anywhere to declare your undying love for them. Maybe that was a little extreme, just coming out and saying it was a little too, Taichi for Davis. Yeah the older boy had been his idol but he had just about grown out of the whole acting without thinking stage. Apart from last night of course.

Seventeen minutes and twenty-one seconds later than planned Yamato Ishida walked into the bar, looking as fantastic as ever.

"Hey sorry I'm late"

"Oh… it's… it's fine"

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"…umm…stuff… do you want a drink?"

"Sure"

Okay Davis told himself, this wasn't going as bad as it could, well sort of. After all Matt had turned up which was a little more than he had been expecting but he wasn't going to get any further than he already was by stuttering and stumbling his way through the conversation. after buying the drinks and pretty much wiping out his entire finances for the week Davis and Matt found a quiet corner of the bar to sit in.

"So Davis, I was a little surprised to hear from you"

"Yeah I just thought we hadn't seen each other for a while you know"

His voice trailed off, this was much tougher than he had anticipated and that in itself had been hard enough. Maybe he should just give this up as a really bad job and forget about it. No that wasn't a great idea either, he'd just be back to sitting around feeling sorry for himself, he was conscious of the fact that Matt's interest in sitting in total silence was starting to wear thin. Davis decided to take action, sort of action anyway.

"So how have you been?"

A shrug of the shoulders and then "Fine"

"Oh, what about… umm your love life?"

Another shrug but was it just his imagination that this one was much less casual, almost sad… Could he really tell that from just a shoulder movement, probably not.

"Me and Sora split up"

"Oh… I'm sorry"

"It's for the best I suppose"

"… What's she doing now then? Didn't you two live together or something"

Matt smiled in a way that made Davis feel a little uncomfortable then said simply "Mimi"

"I'm sorry, what?"  
  
"You asked what she's doing, the answer is Mimi"

Davis wasn't sure whether he should laugh out load or feel totally shocked, so settled for a mixture of both. Matt just smiled at him.

"Yeah that's how I felt too"

Trying desperately to rally himself and get the plan for the evening something like back on track. 

"So you're single then?"  
  
A pause and then "…Yeah"

"Sorry bad subject huh?"  
  
"Something like that"

Another awkward silence only this time more down to Matt's part than Davis' choice. Still doubt was starting to creep into his mind, although TK had told him to go for it he was still worried. Worst case scenario was Matt never speaking to him again, which would be so much worse than right now of course. Summoning up his courage once again Davis spoke.

"So do you have your eyes on anyone?"  
  
"…Not really"

"Oh"  
  
"What's up Davis, you look disappointed"

"…Umm…Yeah…Whatever"

"Hey that's my line"

Davis laughed but then noticed Matt was staring at him with a grin usually associated with sharks and used car salesmen. It was making Davis feel really uncomfortable, as though Matt was staring into his soul.

"What? What's up?"  
  
"You want me don't you Davis"

"I…Umm…Ah… that's…"

His voice trailed off, there wasn't any denying it. Matt had just come right out and asked him, cutting through his never that impressive defenses with ease. Matt had by now stalked round the table and was crouched by Davis' side, he could feel Matt's breath on his neck. Part of him wanted to get up and run from here as fast as he could but the other part wanted this so much that he wanted to scream out loud that Matt was right. He settled for a compromise of barley whispering his answer.

"…yes"

With that Matt pulled him closer and kissed him on the cheek, Davis turned to face him, locking eyes again and again feeling slightly uncomfortable. He wasn't all that sure why he was so scared or why Matt made him feel like this, he wanted this but it was still a terrifying feeling none the less.

"…Matt"

"Do you really want this Dai?"

"Yes"

"Good, because so do I"  
  
"Really? Why would you want me?"  
  
Another shark grin "You still haven't figured that out yet?"

Davis shook his head, he had absolutely no idea what Matt would see in him. This was Yamato Ishida who could have anyone he wanted, what would he see in Davis? 

"That's cute Dai, you really have no idea"

"No, I don't"

"You will"

And with that Matt kissed him again, this time though it was not the little peck on the cheek from last time it was passionate and fiery as though Matt had been waiting for this for as long as Davis had. It felt strange at first but as he got used to the sensation of Matt's tongue in his mouth Davis was overcome with a feeling of absolute contentment. Totally ignoring the dirty look the two old men gave them Davis' felt for the first time in years that perhaps things really did work out sometimes.

~~~ Tokyo International Airport 9:40 ~~~

As Taichi Kamyia walked through the arrival lounge and began the long task of finding his luggage he smiled to himself, it sure felt good to be home.


	5. Standing in the Rain

****

Dreams That Fall Apart by Luke's Dragon

****

Chapter 5Standing in the Rain

~~~ Heighten View Terrace 6.45 ~~~

It had been a long time since Tai had been here, four years ago but he couldn't remember much more than that. It had been raining though that was fairly certain, but then again it always seemed to rain around here. That was why getting out of Odibia, Tokyo and Japan itself was a blessed relief. His parents had seemed to argue non-stop, most of his friends had just drifted apart and Kari was off doing her own thing now. the last he had heard she was with TK but he hadn't spoken to his sister in a few months and knowing her anything could have happened by now. 

__

Still, it would have been nice to think that one of us ended up with someone from that family. God knows it won't be Matt and me now. I blew that one big time. 

Apart from wanting to see the world which was little more than a cover story he had wanted to get away from Matt and all the memories and turmoil that when with it. 

Matt, the guy he had been in love with ever since they had first met on that fated trip to summer camp when they were both kids. 

Matt, his best friends and angel who he had wanted from afar for so long. 

Matt, his lover, his one and only, his life

Matt, the guy he had wrecked everything with for one stupid night of nothing more than sex.

Tai could still remember the night Matt had confronted him about it, there had been no anger, not even any look of betrayal, he had just calmly looked him in the eyes and told him it was over and then walked away. Tai could remember just standing there, rain crashing down around him as the most wonderful thing he had ever known walked out of his life.

Still he had been thinking a lot over the past four years, most people who knew him would have suggested it was about how to open the door or something like that. That was harsh, Tai was not slow, maybe he was brash, Impulsive and insensitive. Maybe he acted without thinking but he did think later. Usually far too late but surely he got marks for trying.

Taking one last look at his childhood home Tai walked on. He was back and he had something important to do. He was going to patch things up with Matt regardless of how difficult the task or whatever the consequences. Something's were worth fighting for.

~~~ Ishida Apartment 8.20 ~~~

Matt was annoyed. No annoyed didn't do it justice Matt Ishida was well and truly irate. Cross. Pissed off even. The reason was Davis, this had been a fairly constant state of mind ever since the two had decided to have a go at the whole relationship idea. Today the reason was that Davis had said he would be at Matt's by 8 and Matt had prepared dinner for the two of them.

Why he had tried cooking was beyond him, money and time meant he hadn't really got anything in to cook so the meal was going to be little more than noodles and slightly stale bread. But it was the thought that counted and it wouldn't have been too difficult for Davis to have called him to say he was going to be late, or more than likely knowing Davis he had just forgotten. Either way Matt was not in a good mood as he sat down to eat the now crispy and over cooked meal.

As the law of fate dictates he had no sooner sat down than he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Grumbling to himself about how unfair the world was he went to answer the door expecting to see Davis and launch a triad of abuse at him. Who he was not expecting to see however was Tai.

Four Years and he hadn't changed a bit, maybe he was a little taller but still not as tall as Matt, he looked just the same, the same wild hair, the same sparkling eyes the same cheerful smile. The smile however faded when he saw the look on Matt's face. A look, which suggested that no amount of time, was going to heal the divide between two former friends.

"Matt, It's been a while"

"Tai. What do you want?"  
  
"Hey! Is that anyway to greet an old friend"

"Friend? After everything you've done I should beat the living daylights out of you!"  
  
"But you won't"

"How the hell do you know?"  
  
"I know you too well Ishida"

Tai invited himself in, Matt could have stopped him if he had really tried but there was a little something in his mind that wanted Tai to come in. They had once been close, very close Tai had been the first person Matt had ever really loved, old feelings like that tended to die hard in his heart.

"Mmm, food"  
  
"There's some spare"

Tai grabbed the rest of the meal from the pans and sat down opposite Matt, it would have been a shame to let the meal go to waste, and after all he had cooked enough for two anyway.

"So, no Sora tonight?"  
  
"No Sora any night"

"Oh, how come?"

"We split up"

"Oh"

Matt reflected on how strange it was really that not so long ago Tai had been to some extent his life. What they had together had been special but he, well he had been a different person back then, scared and unsure of what to do about his feelings. Then Tai had come out and confessed all his feelings for Matt and things had just gone along from there.

It was a mixed memory, part of him still hated Tai for the betrayals, the lies and the hurt he caused, but another part of him missed a good friend and still thought of the times they had spent together as some of the happiest of his life.

But he didn't miss it. Not one tiny bit. Sora had been better for his sanity, she had helped him come to terms with a lot. His sexuality, his past and she had helped him learn to trust people again. And as for Davis, he saw a lot of himself in Dai. Maybe that was where the attraction came from.

But with Tai all he had ever got was hurt. And fantastic sex. And the feeling that he was someone special. But he didn't miss Tai, not one bit.

"If you're done eating, I've got stuff to do"

"Okay"

"Goodbye Tai"

"Bye Matt, it was nice seeing you again"

"Whatever"

"I probably deserve that"  
  
"You do"

"Can I at least have a goodbye kiss?"  
  
"No. I don't think that's a great idea"

"You're probably right Matt. G'night"

"Yeah. I'll see you later I guess"

Matt shut the door with a sigh things seemed to get more and more complex, just when he though him and Dai could have a real chance that jerk came back into his life. But Matt didn't care about him, not one little bit, he didn't miss Tai and certainly didn't want anything more than friendship if that. 

He tried to ignore the fact that he knew the reason he didn't want to kiss Tai would be that he would fall for him all over again, and that was something he certainly couldn't take.


	6. Dancing in the Fire

****

Dreams that Fall Apart by Luke's Dragon

****

A/n

Note to self, update fics more often. Sorry to anyone who's been waiting for me to get moving and write anymore of this fic. But I've got about three on the go as well as other stuff and I never seem to have any spare time lately. Still its freezing cold and raining so I've nothing else to do today so I'm really going to make an effort to finish this. The song is "Forest" by System of a Down. I dunno why, I just like it and its my fic so I'll put whatever songs I like in it.

Slight Tai bashing I guess, hey I like Tai, I just need a villian.

Special thanks to Dai who not only reviewed but also gave me some ideas for the rest of this fic so cheers.

Also I'm still a little unsure where to go. Give me advice and help… please? Daito or Yamasuke? Who's going to end up with a broken heart? 

****

Chapter VI- Dancing in the Fires

~~~ Ishida Apartment 21.20 ~~~

Although Tai had been gone for over an hour now Matt's head was still spinning circles his mind overflowing with far too many thoughts all seeming to bark and bite and snarl for attention all at once. Just yesterday Tai had been totally out of his thoughts forever, and now that jerk had the audacity to come right back into Matt's life as though nothing had ever happened.

Well damn it all Tai could just go back to whatever he'd been doing for these past three years. He had no right to think he could just waltz back into his life as though nothing had ever happened, as though all the hurt and pain Tai had caused could just be forgotten. Tai and Matt had ended a long time ago it was dead and buried Matt had long since moved on. He had Davis now and he'd forgotten about Tai, just like he was going to do all over again.

The problem was that maybe he had never forgotten about Tai, maybe it was true what they said, that you never forgot your first love and that true love never really died. No after everything he had been through whatever messed up relationship the two of them had it certainly was never true love. Screwed up, messy and intense maybe but never true love.

And maybe if he could just cling onto that idea thing would work out all right in the end. Wondering just what had happened to Davis and hoping that there was a damn good excuse Matt decided to turn in for an early night. With any luck Tai would get hit by a bus tomorrow. 

~~~ Motomiya Apartment 11.54 ~~~

Davis did indeed have a really good excuse for not being at Matt's that night. It was just as Matt had suspected Davis had forgotten that he was supposed to meet Matt tonight. In the world of Davis he was certain Matt had said eight o clock the following morning. Davis had been slightly disappointed to learn that such a time actually existed and that Matt would want anything to do with such an early hour. Still Davis was prepared to make the sacrifice of waking up so early if that's what Matt really wanted. With a sigh Davis collapsed into bed. Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day, he was sure of it.

~~~ Ishida Apartment 7.59 ~~

Matt was awoken by the sounds of what sounded like a battering ram attacking his front door. Looking at his bedside clock he groaned at the time and hide his head under the pillow, hoping that whatever was attacking his door would get bored and go away. This plan was quickly snuffed out by the fact that unlike wasps loud banging on doors did not go away if you ignored it. If anything it got louder and more urgent. Deciding he had to move before the whole neighborhood was woken up Matt fell out of bed and staggered to the front door. 

Opening it cautiously half expecting a SWAT team to be there, although minor speeding offences probably didn't warrant such noise he was instead confronted by Davis, looking far too happy for his own good. 

"Hey I'm here"

"Uh"

"Well let's eat then"

"Uh?"

"Hellooo? Come round at eight and we'll eat. Remember"

"That was last night"

"Yup, you told me last night"

Matt knew he should really be annoyed about the wasted dinner, about being woken up and about stupid people who couldn't tell the time but he couldn't bring himself to do anything more than beckon Davis inside. Maybe it was because it was too early for his brain to work properly; maybe it was because of the sheer infectious nature of Davis' cheerfulness that stopped him. Matt staggered into his room to find some more flattering clothes than the boxer shorts he had worn to bed. He was at least grateful that he had worn them, in his sleep filled state he wouldn't have noticed if he was naked, which may have served Davis right. Deciding that although it would be 'interesting' to walk out naked to see what Davis would do he thought better of it. Besides they had the whole day to work towards that.

His thoughts were shattered by Davis turning on Matt's sound system at full volume and shaking the walls with whatever had been put on. Still somewhat groggy Matt figured that his neighbors would not appreciate this so early so had to put a stop to it. 

"Davis turn it down!" Or at least that was what he was supposed to say. His words were lost though beneath the 'song' if that's what it was. 

#Why can't you see that you are my child? Why don't you know that you are my mind? Tell everyone that…#

Matt turned the stereo off before he and the rest of the building suffered permanent hearing damage. Davis appeared not to notice and still continued to bounce around doing his best interpretation of the word singing. 

After a few moments of this Davis seemed to notice that the music had stopped.

"Hey I was listening to that!"  
  
"Yeah but no-one else wants to"

"I like it. I brought it round so you could hear it too"

"I heard it"

"Well you certainly aren't cheerful this morning"

"Let's just eat"

The whole eating plan was confounded by the minor fact that there was nothing worth eating in the kitchen. Certainly nothing that wouldn't cause major food poisoning to whoever ate it. Matt groaned he really had to remember to go shopping sometime soon before he starved or worse tried drinking some of the milk that was in the fridge. Well it used to be milk, now it had mutated into some blobby, smelly thing that was growing out of the carton.

"Davis, change of plan. We're going out for breakfast"

~~~ Café de Paris 9.25 ~~~

Matt and Davis sat in one of the few theme café's in the city. This one was apparently French; Matt had been several times before with Sora who had introduced him to the concept of breakfast he quite liked to come here once a week. Davis however looked unimpressed.

"What that supposed to be?"

"It's a croissant"

"And that?"

"Umm, it's a baguette"

"Huh. Where's the cereal?"

"They don't do cereal"

"Oh, I'll have the orange then"  


"That's just decoration"

"What am I supposed to eat then? All this stuff looks… odd"

Matt bit his tongue. There were several sorts of pastry things and breads but Davis was not happy about the idea of bread for breakfast. Eventually he managed to persuade Davis to try something more advanced than just jam. It was something of an experience watching Davis eat, when he figured that the food wasn't actually going to kill him he moved into a full scale feeding frenzy taking full advantage of the all you can eat promise.

Eventually, surrounded by the remains of the buffet Davis admitted defeat, downing the last of the orange juice he grinned at Matt. 

"That was quite good I suppose"

"Yes, for someone who didn't want to come you certainly made a mess"  
  
"I don't like new things"

"Really?"

"Yeah, they're scary"

"Some are quite good though"

Davis laughed and took advantage of the distraction to steal the orange that was apparently only for decorative purposes. 

~~~ Tokyo city park 13.00 ~~~

The near constant Tokyo rain had held off all morning so Davis and Matt had gone to the city park, a place neither of them had been for quite a while. The day was nice enough for them to spend the afternoon just laying in the sunlight. Technically it wasn't really sun, more light clouds but compared to the recent weather it was a practical heat wave.

"Matt?"

"Huh?"  


"Why are we together, I mean what do you see in me? You could have anyone you wanted so why me?

"I couldn't have anyone I wanted Dai, but I do want you… that's not much of an answer huh?"

"Not really"

Matt sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time today. This wasn't going to be easy, but in a way Davis deserved to know what he was getting himself into.

"Did you know about me and Tai… dating?"

Davis' eyes widened in surprise, "No"

"Damn, I guess that means I'll have to tell you all about it"

~~~ 4 years ago ~~~

Although they were older now Matt and Tai had been a couple since just before the second wave of Digi-destined had come along. Matt still wasn't sure when he had fallen for Tai, but Tai had always said for him it was when Matt had left the group when they were fighting the dark masters. They had never had a stable relationship, in fact sometimes Matt thought all they had in common was that they liked to fight each other, still they had been fairly serious for what seemed like forever. It wasn't perfect but it was something that they had both grown used to and there was still the friendship between them but things were getting stale. 

Tai had wanted them to sleep together since they had both turned sixteen but Matt had never wanted to take that step, certainly he didn't want it to be something planned and as organized as Tai wanted. Yeah that was right Taichi "act first" Kamiya wanted plans and certainty where as Matt wanted something impulsive and one the spur of a moment. Strange how things work out sometimes really. Just when you think you knew someone they spring something totally unexpected on you.

In the end they had done it Tai's way. There was a bitterness that Matt felt that they always had to do things Tai's way. Perhaps it was from listening to too many sappy ballads but Matt had expected things to be slightly more romantic rather than just a hot, sweaty slightly painful experience. But that had not been the really bad part, that had happened afterwards.

Tai had seemed to change so much, he had avoided Matt for a week before breaking things off over the telephone, saying that 'it wasn't what he had wanted' to this day Matt wasn't sure what exactly Tai hadn't wanted, sex or him. Two weeks later Tai had vanished and Matt had only found out through TK that Tai had gone somewhere to pursue a professional soccer career.

~~~ Present day ~~~

"And after that I hadn't seen him until last night" 

Matt had tears in his eyes as he finished his story; Davis seemed to be shaking with rage. There was a fire glowing in his eyes, it was the sort of fire Matt hadn't seen for a long time, it was the sort of fire you could fall in love with, or be destroyed by.

"I'll kick his ass for you if you want" Davis said eventually

"Thanks, but I can fight my own battles, besides it's over now"

"Do you still care about him?"

"I still think about him"

"That's not an answer Matt"  
  
"No, it's not, because you're too emotional right now" Davis shrugged his shoulders causally, it was a side to him that Matt had not seen before, the leader, the fire, the Tai in Davis that was appealing but slightly frightening all at once.  
  
"With just cause, I can't believe he'd treat you like that"

"Dai, it's fine don't worry about it"

Davis didn't seem happy about it but relaxed slightly, instead he wrapped his arms around Matt and held him tightly. For a while at least Matt felt like he could relax and drop his guard and his ice cool persona and just relax, feeling safe and secure in Davis' arms. But what chance did he have, all his icy walls were no defense against Davis, he could just make them melt away like nothing. And just for a little while at least he could feel like he did when he was sixteen, a little needy and weak, but happy in the warmth of his lovers fire.


End file.
